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by amazingkamisnotonfire



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Domestic, Don't Read This, Fix It Fic For CW Because WTF Bucky, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hydra (Marvel), I saw an 8-bit fiction quote and I thought of Stucky I hate myself, I'm Sorry, Like they say five lines, M/M, Minor Dialogue, No Peggy sorry, One Shot, PROTECT STEVE ROGERS AT ALL COST, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Steve Rogers-centric, Still love her though, This took me 3 hours
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-09-18 23:52:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9408209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amazingkamisnotonfire/pseuds/amazingkamisnotonfire
Summary: “I lost everything, Steve.”“You didn’t lose me,” Steve says earnestly.





	

Loving Bucky Barnes is like waiting for a bomb to detonate. You have to be careful, take calculated yet vigilant steps. You have to step away from the danger zone or else before you know it, the whole thing just blows right into your face. Sometimes Steve can’t tell the difference. Good thing he’s bulletproof.

For years, Steve cannot accept Bucky’s death, most especially since it’s entirely his fault. It was his idea to attack HYDRA, his decision to bring Bucky along, his arm that let Bucky fall to his demise. There were times when it gets too much; he thinks that being frozen like a meat in a slaughterhouse is infinitely better than this.

And when Bucky came back, he’s a much different person. So far from his Bucky Barnes from Brooklyn, no, he was now Winter Soldier this time. He is the assassin who killed Tony’s parents for a bag of serum, the assassin who robbed T’Challa a father, and the soldier who once fought for the war now fights for HYDRA. But when Rumlow said the words ‘Your Bucky,’ suddenly he was Steve Rogers, skinny and asthmatic kid from Brooklyn again.

But Steve knows that this is Bucky- Bucky who saved his ass from bullies and in return, he saved him from HYDRA. Bucky who kissed his mouth when Steve was sixteen in an abandoned alley, hidden from everyone. Bucky, his home, his getaway. Somehow, Steve knows that he’s in there somewhere, waiting for him.

And damn him if he wasn’t going to take him back.

 

~.~

 

When Steve saw him in that ratty old apartment in Bucharest, he fought the entire urge to just wrap his arms around him and kiss his neck. Despite his enhanced body, he looked fragile and beaten. There are no more icy glint, the one that promised murder in his eyes, only exhaustion and loneliness.

His heart had sped up when he saw Bucky, like it always did all these years. He was right- Bucky did remember. Even if it’s just fragments, he still remembers. That was enough for Steve.

Now he’s going to take him home, finally.

It took months for Bucky to be comfortable around him and Steve has been patient for every step of the way. There were nights where Bucky wakes up sweating and trashing and Steve holds him.

('What was the nightmare about?' Steve inquired gently.

'Battle.' whispered Bucky. 

'Battle?' You mean the war?' Steve prodded. 

'No, battle against Asset.'

'Who's Asset?'

Bucky takes a deep breath. 'Me.')

Eventually it got too much and they had to share a bed. For Steve, that was the best progress Bucky achieved. He didn’t push Steve away.

Even after his dispute with Tony, he and Bucky still stayed the same, just like in the war. They didn’t talk about HYDRA or what he did as Winter Soldier, instead they talked about the remnants of the war, and their life here in the 21st century. Bucky never missed his metal arm, and Steve didn’t talk about his ‘retirement’ (If you could retire from being a ‘symbol of patriotism and justice.’)

Steve often wonders if Bucky ever remembers them. Not Captain America and his sidekick, Bucky. But as Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, soldiers involved in a love affair. But Steve never ceases to hope and want even though it’s tough. Until Bucky remembers, he’s going to remain by his side.

“Remember Coney Island?” Bucky says randomly. Steve stiffens and almost drops the plate he’s washing. Coney Island is where they went when they first had a leave from the army. Coney Island is where Steve has sand sticking up to his skin as Bucky placed promises to his mouth and body. Coney Island is where he rode Bucky to oblivion, until he saw stars.

“Yeah,” Steve almost stutters, “The Cyclone?”

Bucky hums. “That was a great ride.”

Steve’s mouth went dry and he’s almost positive he’s visibly shivering. Does Bucky remember, finally?

“Buck?” He approached his Bucky, his eyes darting between his face and his missing arm. He looked for any signs of memory in his face, but what he saw is just a distant, wistful look on the ex-sergeant’s face, sitting easily on the tattered couch. Steve feels his stomach sinks.

Bucky bowed his head, his long, brown hair blocking his eyes. “I lost everything, Steve. ” He says suddenly.

“You didn’t lose me,” Steve says earnestly."Not me, Bucky."

He looks up to meet the Avenger’s gaze, his eyes swirling of emotions Steve can’t describe. Steve held his steady look and his quivering breath; he feels his stomach fumbling and his poor heart fluttering. All of a sudden, Steve felt his breath quicken and oxygen escaping his lungs- for a split second, he’s worried he might be having an asthma attack but he’s not having retractions. He later identified this as the Bucky Effect- it’s something that the eighteen-year old Steve called when Bucky was down on his knees.

Bucky bowed his head again, but now Steve can clearly see his face. His eyes are shut, making the crinkles in his forehead soften. Steve steps closer to the ex-assassin, drawing a steadying huff of breath. From up close, Steve can openly see the light and small freckles scattering his nose. He can see how prominent his jaw become. And Steve, in his best judgment, can infer that he is still as beautiful as the day he lost him.

Slowly, he sits on the couch, putting his arms around Bucky’s waist and the other on his shoulders. He feels the man crumble in his arms as he eagerly scoots closer to the ex-captain and lies on his side, putting his arms on Steve’s back. Steve releases a breath he didn’t know he was holding and rests his chin on the ex-assassin’s head, inhaling the whiff of the scented shampoo he used earlier. Bucky smells like rain water and the autumn breeze, making Steve want to stay in his arms forever.

Steve thinks of home and it isn’t Brooklyn anymore. It’s Bucky. It’s Bucky and his dark-flecked chestnut eyes. It’s Bucky and the weird moles scattered on his chest. It’s Bucky and his ever-present smirk. Steve closes his eyes and exhales. ‘Finally,’ he thinks. After more than seventy years, Captain Steven Rogers is finally home from war.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Leave a kudos and a comment.
> 
>  .
> 
> come scream about stucky with me on [tumblr!](https://kamwashere.tumblr.com)


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